026

To the dear God in Heaven above,

Why the bloody hell does it hurt so frickin much?

025

I had a mini vacation this weekend. It was good, but there was (and still is) too much on my mind.

I'm actually pretty tired of trying. I don't know how this is supposed to work, I don't know how much effort I'm suppose to put in, I don't know when I'm supposed to be involved, or when I'm supposed to let go. But I'm sure I'll figure it out, somehow. I hate it when the future's so uncertain, when I can guarantee that all this effort I put in now will yield results - but no matter what, I'll try, because they're worth the risk. :)

I really want to watch Rapunzel - Tangled, it looks so funny HAHAHAHAHA.

"If you ever loved somebody put your hands up".

On the other hand, it's nice to see people I've practically grown up with turn out for the better, to change so drastically, and to become so different. It makes me harbour hope for every human in the world today. Because I know people can change for the better. (and undeniably the worse, but let's not go there)

024

At the Cross - Hillsong

"Even when I fail You, I know You love me"

I miss how I felt when I was in Australia earlier this year, even just for a couple of days. The feeling of freedom and happiness, being carefree, enjoying every moment, and just being able to soak in the atmosphere. The time when I was free and had absolutely nothing to do, no assignments to complete, no deadlines to meet.

Feeling so wanderlust-y. Staying in one place for too long just doesn't do it sometimes. But right now, I'm blasting Hey Soul Sister on repeat. Life is (still) good. :)

(I'm not completely over you, yet.)

023

It's been a really long (+ emotional) day. I think I'd take a day to get over it, but the good thing is I get over emotions fast, although I show a lot.

Sometimes I'd wish I could give everyone hurting inside a huge hug and tell them it's alright. Because it gets really painful when it starts to hurt so much, when you're in despair, and searching high and low for reasons, answers, whys, but you can't find any. When you doubt a million and two things, when you approach unanswerable questions, and know that even if the whole world knew your question, they would be unable to give an answer. So I'll just leave it at that, no matter how difficult it is for me to accept.

If you like Canon in D, George Winston's variation is one of the best adaptations out there. :)

022

Today I introduce you to my favourite song:

Johann Pachelbel - Canon in D

(on a string quartet).

This song deserves a post itself - how the hell do you write a song like this!

021

Baby Come Back to Me - Utada

(It isn't an amazing song, but I quite like the chorus, its semi soothing).

Giving Up - Ingrid Michaelson

"I am giving up on greener grasses, I am giving up, for you"

Scoured the streets of Haji Lane today with Rita, my church mentor. Apart from the extremely adorable clothes (+nicknacks), the shops were also really nicely decorated, and they played really good music. Gonna have to bring a lot of $$ and a camera the next time I go. I also found many economics books I'd like to get my hands on, and had a conversation over politics, which I found interesting (although we were both on different sides, which was tough - he had leverage).

Other than that, thought about life for the first time in a long while, about being, and (or) watching. How there'd be a million experiences we'd want to go through yet never be able to, and there are a million other experiences only we'd go through. But whatever it is, just seize whatever comes, so we should just go out and live.

Alright. PSLE results come out tomorrow. All the best to my sistaaa ~ and everybody else !!!

020

Well. I now know that Cheltenham has gotten my entrance examination application. Apparently, there's an English Language paper on top of everything. Feels like my killer, but I'll work hard anyway.

(You know what, you really surprised me today, in a good way).

Citywide Rodeo - The Weepies

"I know that you think you're not good for anything, the world makes you feel so small."

So I'm gonna try reading C.S Lewis's Screwtape Letters, but I still have a ton of books to attack, which I will hopefully get down to doing sometime. I should actually shun my computer, just that I have a proposal due, and it's the easiest method of communication. So for convenience sake. (It's so easy to make a gazillion excuses HEHE). But anyway, does anyone have any good Korean Dramas to recommend? I'd truly appreciate it.

All I really need to do though, is get myself out of the stupid house, and breathe in a little clean air. All this staying at home is just breeding my inner sloth. :( But enough with the apathy. I'll get down to it, someday. :)

Hope everyone's been having a blast!

(By the way, N. Korea, is this war?)

019

It seems right now, holidays are in full force - everyone's all over the world (well deserved), and (hopefully) having a blast.

So far, I've been cooping up at home, watching a gazillion dramas + movies, and joking around with my sister. I've been trying to hit my books, but they don't seem nearly as alluring as whatever's on tele. I should get myself up and around more. I've also got a ton of things to do actually, one being just sitting in solitude. OH. I also need to go read a lot more of the Bible + QT, which I have conveniently been neglecting.

But anyway, what on earth is going on? JUSTIN BIEBER ARTIST OF THE YEAR (@AMA's)?!?!. Really? Really?!

Yeah, I should really start settling my photos and organising files on the computer - and spend life doing less mundane things, my O's are over, damnit! Prom was a blast, and everyone looked really pretty. :)

Gonna buy myself a cup of coffee ~

018

I've graduated.

It's been a long ten years, gone through so much and grown so much. Met some amazing people that I'd never get to meet anywhere else, and gone through the strangest experiences. Although it was almost hell the past 2 years, I'm thankful for everything SC has given me. It's been an amazing 10 years, so thanks for giving me them, SCGS.

The scariest thing about graduating, though, is moving somewhere new. I've never really had to face change of this extent before, so next year will be interesting.

But for now:

Class of 2010, there's something about us I'll really miss.

017

I've spent the past two days in new appreciation of the Singapore landscape. Ironically, my wanderlust index has hit an all time high. Maybe it's just the fact that O's are over, my happiness index has also shot up. :)

So yes, yesterday I spent a (really early) morning sitting in the bus, on my way to school, where I saw minions of the rat race scramble to work. I have to say, the CBD is a really pretty sight, especially in the morning when the Sun is really lovely. Today, on the other hand, I spent the (not so early) morning on the top of a double decker bed over the expressway on my way to vivocity. I thought I was gonna die, because I was sitting right over the edge. But it's quite a sight to behold, actually. Went to Marina Boulevard after that, and saw many many buildings. They make you feel quite tiny when you look up. Must go there and shoot some day. Anyway, I came home to find my neighbour and his wife sitting by the pool, which I thought was awfully sweet ~. :)

This week's episode of Glee was surprisingly really enjoyable. By the way, that, is how you use a guest star.

Mm. So graduation's today (/tomorrow), and it's been so hectic since O's ended, I'd really want some down time. Can't wait for Japan, but I guess I'm gonna have to create my own (disconnected) vacation here. :S

Toodles!

016

2 girls in a corner

Today I spent lunch with a very special girl. It was a super duper enjoyable 2 hours, just that I still have to take "this silly girl" out for ice cream. Because she keeps bugging me. :) But I love her very much. In other news, graduation rehearsal was eh, but Gen said toybox needed another outing (it hasn't even been half a week!) so whoever's reading this - that's your cue.

++ If you're reading this - graduation presents will come after graduation. Because I have no time, which is really ironic. But yeah!

I have to say, this new freedom, despite how boring it gets sometimes, is really refreshing. The only problem being I'm running dry of $$ faster than you can say "bankrupt!". Time to spend some good time at home, then.

Hope everyone's been having a good time. :)

015

Life has been so good to me, everything has just been going so well. I'm so glad, and so thankful. :) Although life's logic states something will probably crumble down soon, I'm just going to stick to this positivity and the fact that life has been amazing since O's has ended. (Well, it has been getting better every year so ...)

Jonsi's so good (thanks Andrea!), he's really amazing to listen to if you're on an adventure or travelling or going somewhere new. It's refreshing.

:) :) :)

Still sleepy though. Haha, and should really start on my books.

014.2

So I suppose I do have to mention that O's are over. :) I'm really really relieved, amongst others. It's been an extremely tough fight the past 10 months and some months were worst than others, but I've made it, we've made it, and I'm really proud of all of us. :)

Now that O's are over, I have about 2 months to crash, live life and do whatever I want (semi) unrestrained !! It's not as exciting as it sounds HAHA.

Paolo Nutini - These Streets. (y)

So hopefully I'll be able to catch up with some good books. Going to Kino yesterday made me (and Tricia) realise that we've got a lot of reading to do! Oh yeah, and I hope I'll get to shoot soon too. :)

Dear you,

We've come a long way, and I think we've started to take many things for granted. Although I can't say you have for sure, I'm pretty sure you have. It's sad to think that we've been so blessed to have built such a long lasting friendship just because of circumstances, yet now we're wasting it. I can barely hold a conversation with you, but I don't blame you. It's funny how if it were last year, we'd be so confident in the closeness we have with each other, but it was my fault for not being able to see through what you were really trying to say. Yet you're still the sweetest, you know. (And although I'm a 100% confident that you won't be reading this, I miss you.)

014.1

yaaaaaaah.

013

"I know I'm not strong enough to be, everything that I'm supposed to be. I give up, I'm not strong enough. Hands of mercy won't you comfort me, Lord right now I'm asking you to be, strong enough, for the both of us."

I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength, but not alone.

6 days.

Please God, let me pull through.