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So I'm back from the silly island doing a silly IA for a silly subject, and yes, I had a lot of fun, it was good.

Yet, I still find myself as shaky as ever, and my mind in the same mess it was when I left school. It's sad that the moment the bus crossed from Malaysia to Singapore the air instantly felt heavier and you were just reminded of the thousand and two things that await you to complete here. I need a break, a good one. A real one. One where I'm away from people that place expectations on me (although we all do, and that's perfectly fine and reasonable), one where I'm away from anything that reminds me of all the obligations I have. Somewhere I can kick back and chill, spend enough time with myself, yet spend a huge bulk of time meeting new people and learning so much more about this amazing world, and all the people that make it beautiful. 

The more I think about it, the more I think I like change. Many people don't, but I've come to realise half the reason why I don't like Singapore is Singapore itself, but the other half is because I don't really like staying in a place as small as this - there's nothing to do, and you find yourself caught in the same routine again and again, also, I don't prefer staying in one place too long. But practicality and functionality always brings you back to reality. 

It's hard to imagine I was once an idealist, or a super idealist. Realism seems so much more believable to me. I still dream though, but I'd say I'm far from being a dreamer. Realistic optimism is good for the soul. Life is beautiful though - in the recent years, I've come to understand that the beauty of life comes from all the pain we go through and all the battles we fight, not because the hurt and pain makes it beautiful, but because we overcome. 

Because we overcome. 

I've got three weeks to finals, I haven't started on shit and my Geography syllabus is like an impregnable fortress. I also need to finalise challenge week - pay for elephant service, and get everyone to fill up the form (just a note to self, and my groupmates if you read this!!). Apart from that, I think I've got to start building my life on Jesus Christ a lot more, standing on really shaky ground now. 

I can't wait till I start travelling and exploring the world.