039

It's becoming a bleak week.

Although, I must say I'm thankful I have the people around me.

:)

038

I'm back !!!!!!!! :)

Japan and Hong Kong were really fun, and I think I'm skiing a little better now, so I'm really glad. It was really good to get away from Singapore for a bit, but for now, Singapore's still home, and home's where I wanna be.

So anyway, did quite a lot of shopping and skiing but didn't take much photos because I was so tired and couldn't feel inspired/too dangerous to take my camera with me. I realise I'm writing in really long sentences like how people would speak really quickly and no one would get what they're saying. HAHAHA. Anyhow ~~~

So yes, I'm really glad to have taken a breather from monotony in Singapore, but I'm really glad to be home too. I thought a little about 2011, and I'm gonna make sure it's a spectacular year for me (and hopefully everybody too!). I'm really excited, and I love these year turnover things to think about the year that has passed and the year to come. I'll probably post about it sometime soon, but right now, my 2011 mantra is "be happy/get lost". (If you combine the coke and nat geo adventure slogans, it's open happiness/let's get lost. I find both extremely inspiring. Okay, I think I've typed too much and I don't know what I'm saying.

Finally, albeit 2 days late:

MERRY CHRISTMAS!

Cheers!

037

So today ... I'm so tired.

But anyway, today, I went out with Sarah, someone I haven't seen in a long, long time, and I had a manicure for the first time in my life! Haha. Bought a cute Christmas hat, and a cute hairband, and a cute bracelet. It's nice to know that Christmas sales are all on now. Saving a lot of $$. :) But what surprised me was that topshop actually played Diana Vickers! I didn't know anywhere in Singapore would play Diana Vickers.

In other news, I'll be away from the 17th till the 26th of December, and there's probably no way to contact me. I can't guarantee internet access, but till then, have fun folks! :)

Cheers!

036

You learn something new from everybody, you learn something new everyday - and that's what I'm learning, I'll continually learn.

It gets tough, but I must always remember to pull myself back up.

When was the last time you were genuinely happy?

035

There's a Place For Us - Carrie Underwood

(Voyage of the Dawn Treader OST)

"We were made for so much more".

Today has been a good day for so many reasons. Bought presents for the cousins we knew they'd like, Nat and Kat took home the Amazing Race 17 crown, all for woman power, Matt took the X Factor crown for the team, and Narnia was just so amazing, the story, the locations, just, everything, in its entirety. I think I'm gonna buy the DVD when it comes out.

"We can be the kings and queens of anything if we believe, its written in the stars that shine above. A world where you and I belong, where faith and love will keep us strong, exactly who we are is just enough"

And beyond that, 2011's gonna be an amazing year, I can just feel it. :)

"We have nothing if not belief".

034

This man, Matt Cardle, your X Factor winner.

He's gonna be the second artist I fully support, after Brooke Fraser. So Matt, go far!

033

Today was a wonderful day spent with the toybox girls (sans Tricia) in Cheryl's house, where Gen caught the bridge bug and we all sat around the mahjong table without mahjong. :) But times like these where all (or most) of us gather are good. So basically we spent the entire day playing cards and laughing at Kelly. Same old, same old.

Also, it took me nearly 2 hours to get home, but I love the Circle line. It's so quick and there's barely anybody in the trains even during peak hour. I mean, the trains are full but nearly everybody gets a seat and only 5 people are standing in each carriage or something. It's good. But I caught a quick nap and managed to bag a seat just before we hit Orchard Road, so I suppose it wasn't that bad.

Off to JB tomorrow, hopefully for a good day, although I bet I'll be tired to new extremes. In the mean time, everyone should go watch Point of Entry on xinmsn or Ch5! Try to make it through the first episode, but the second episode is quite good already!

"I believe, You are strong enough, in my weakness, God be lifted up"

032

This is where I should be, especially for Christmas.

(But I always believe Winter should be spent in snow).

031

I'm too lazy to blog. HAHA.

Okay, so I swarmed myself with babysitting my favourite boy, and a kid sister (+ sleeping a lot) over the past three days, gave a little bit of tuition and had many conversations on life, from the corporate world to daily life to the most idealistic situations on earth. Played DS and Wii alternatively and accidentally deleted my Mario Kart :(. But the kids were cute, and I had a good time, though I'm really really tired.

Tomorrow, I shall be at Cheryl's house and on Saturday I'll be at Chapel camp nyeheheh, while Chloe flies off to Europe.

(Eh, btw Chloe I'm not emo!!! I'm thinking the only place you'd get that impression from is here!).

Meanwhile, I'd really really like to shoot something. (Either using a camera or a gun, haha). I also have many books to read and new music to discover, and my computer to clean. Right now, I'm on Girl with the Dragon Tattoo and Never Let Me Go, which is taking forever. But I have many more to catch after that, and I hope to get some good reading done in Japan + Hong Kong. Everybody pray for the Ski seasons to open!

But all I really wanted to say was:

There are some things I can't accept but eventually will have to. That doesn't mean I'm not allowed to struggle through it first. :)

Having lots of fun with Sister's photobooth!

030

I feel like I'm just stabbing myself with a knife in my chest, it's not even someone else doing it.

But I promised myself I'd be happy. I should be shooting/travelling/conversing over cups of coffee (or just conversing)/reading a good book with a cup of coffee/plenty of other things. I'm sleeping over at my cousin's tomorrow! Hopefully that will put me in a good mood.

Just give it time.

029

There have been so many engagements this year I can barely count, but a friend just got engaged, and her engagement video is the sweetest, sweetest thing around. :) This is quite cool, because with the countless engagements come countless weddings. (!!!)

"Hey baby, I think I wanna marry you ~"

In other news, I had a pretty awesome weekend this week with the cell. It's good to have them, they're a really great bunch of lovely people. But I swear, I'm feeling so hungover now it's not even funny. Headaches and headaches and two music lessons today, I could almost die. (But it was worth it. :))

Just went to the airport to send my mum off, and stared at the departure screen. Wish I could go somewhere too, so wanderlusty. I'd really like to travel the world and see all sorts of different cultures, but for now, I shall travel Singapore. Heheheh.

Tomorrow I'm off to babysit my cousins. Ho-hum, that'll be interesting, but I think I'll be bored to death. Oh well. The holidays have been quite good, so far. But yeah, I guess it could be better, and I could be happier. I miss the feeling of feeling free.

Cheers!

028

Believe.

027

I've been absent for quite a bit, but there's been either too much or too little going on to make a post. HAHA. Watched Confessions today. Brilliant cinematography, in every aspect, but it was extremely, extremely disturbing.

But anyway, practicing worship for CG Retreat has made me see old songs in a new light. I guess it's good, because when these worship songs get too convenient, we tend to forget its meaning. On the other hand, my voice is almost at 0.

Opposites Attract - Juris

"You take me just the way I am"

Overheard this 5 year old girl talking to her friend about going to the Maldives, living in a villa with stilts, or "sticks that hold the house up". Silly girl doesn't know how lucky she is. But anyway, I think I've been striking a pretty good balance between going out and resting at home. Should really try to be a little bit more productive.

But guess what! It's December ~~~ The last month of the year. It's surprising to think I've made it past this year, never thought I would actually. But it feels pretty good :)

Okay, I'll be away for the weekend though, for real. :)

Cheers!

026

To the dear God in Heaven above,

Why the bloody hell does it hurt so frickin much?

025

I had a mini vacation this weekend. It was good, but there was (and still is) too much on my mind.

I'm actually pretty tired of trying. I don't know how this is supposed to work, I don't know how much effort I'm suppose to put in, I don't know when I'm supposed to be involved, or when I'm supposed to let go. But I'm sure I'll figure it out, somehow. I hate it when the future's so uncertain, when I can guarantee that all this effort I put in now will yield results - but no matter what, I'll try, because they're worth the risk. :)

I really want to watch Rapunzel - Tangled, it looks so funny HAHAHAHAHA.

"If you ever loved somebody put your hands up".

On the other hand, it's nice to see people I've practically grown up with turn out for the better, to change so drastically, and to become so different. It makes me harbour hope for every human in the world today. Because I know people can change for the better. (and undeniably the worse, but let's not go there)

024

At the Cross - Hillsong

"Even when I fail You, I know You love me"

I miss how I felt when I was in Australia earlier this year, even just for a couple of days. The feeling of freedom and happiness, being carefree, enjoying every moment, and just being able to soak in the atmosphere. The time when I was free and had absolutely nothing to do, no assignments to complete, no deadlines to meet.

Feeling so wanderlust-y. Staying in one place for too long just doesn't do it sometimes. But right now, I'm blasting Hey Soul Sister on repeat. Life is (still) good. :)

(I'm not completely over you, yet.)

023

It's been a really long (+ emotional) day. I think I'd take a day to get over it, but the good thing is I get over emotions fast, although I show a lot.

Sometimes I'd wish I could give everyone hurting inside a huge hug and tell them it's alright. Because it gets really painful when it starts to hurt so much, when you're in despair, and searching high and low for reasons, answers, whys, but you can't find any. When you doubt a million and two things, when you approach unanswerable questions, and know that even if the whole world knew your question, they would be unable to give an answer. So I'll just leave it at that, no matter how difficult it is for me to accept.

If you like Canon in D, George Winston's variation is one of the best adaptations out there. :)

022

Today I introduce you to my favourite song:

Johann Pachelbel - Canon in D

(on a string quartet).

This song deserves a post itself - how the hell do you write a song like this!

021

Baby Come Back to Me - Utada

(It isn't an amazing song, but I quite like the chorus, its semi soothing).

Giving Up - Ingrid Michaelson

"I am giving up on greener grasses, I am giving up, for you"

Scoured the streets of Haji Lane today with Rita, my church mentor. Apart from the extremely adorable clothes (+nicknacks), the shops were also really nicely decorated, and they played really good music. Gonna have to bring a lot of $$ and a camera the next time I go. I also found many economics books I'd like to get my hands on, and had a conversation over politics, which I found interesting (although we were both on different sides, which was tough - he had leverage).

Other than that, thought about life for the first time in a long while, about being, and (or) watching. How there'd be a million experiences we'd want to go through yet never be able to, and there are a million other experiences only we'd go through. But whatever it is, just seize whatever comes, so we should just go out and live.

Alright. PSLE results come out tomorrow. All the best to my sistaaa ~ and everybody else !!!

020

Well. I now know that Cheltenham has gotten my entrance examination application. Apparently, there's an English Language paper on top of everything. Feels like my killer, but I'll work hard anyway.

(You know what, you really surprised me today, in a good way).

Citywide Rodeo - The Weepies

"I know that you think you're not good for anything, the world makes you feel so small."

So I'm gonna try reading C.S Lewis's Screwtape Letters, but I still have a ton of books to attack, which I will hopefully get down to doing sometime. I should actually shun my computer, just that I have a proposal due, and it's the easiest method of communication. So for convenience sake. (It's so easy to make a gazillion excuses HEHE). But anyway, does anyone have any good Korean Dramas to recommend? I'd truly appreciate it.

All I really need to do though, is get myself out of the stupid house, and breathe in a little clean air. All this staying at home is just breeding my inner sloth. :( But enough with the apathy. I'll get down to it, someday. :)

Hope everyone's been having a blast!

(By the way, N. Korea, is this war?)

019

It seems right now, holidays are in full force - everyone's all over the world (well deserved), and (hopefully) having a blast.

So far, I've been cooping up at home, watching a gazillion dramas + movies, and joking around with my sister. I've been trying to hit my books, but they don't seem nearly as alluring as whatever's on tele. I should get myself up and around more. I've also got a ton of things to do actually, one being just sitting in solitude. OH. I also need to go read a lot more of the Bible + QT, which I have conveniently been neglecting.

But anyway, what on earth is going on? JUSTIN BIEBER ARTIST OF THE YEAR (@AMA's)?!?!. Really? Really?!

Yeah, I should really start settling my photos and organising files on the computer - and spend life doing less mundane things, my O's are over, damnit! Prom was a blast, and everyone looked really pretty. :)

Gonna buy myself a cup of coffee ~

018

I've graduated.

It's been a long ten years, gone through so much and grown so much. Met some amazing people that I'd never get to meet anywhere else, and gone through the strangest experiences. Although it was almost hell the past 2 years, I'm thankful for everything SC has given me. It's been an amazing 10 years, so thanks for giving me them, SCGS.

The scariest thing about graduating, though, is moving somewhere new. I've never really had to face change of this extent before, so next year will be interesting.

But for now:

Class of 2010, there's something about us I'll really miss.

017

I've spent the past two days in new appreciation of the Singapore landscape. Ironically, my wanderlust index has hit an all time high. Maybe it's just the fact that O's are over, my happiness index has also shot up. :)

So yes, yesterday I spent a (really early) morning sitting in the bus, on my way to school, where I saw minions of the rat race scramble to work. I have to say, the CBD is a really pretty sight, especially in the morning when the Sun is really lovely. Today, on the other hand, I spent the (not so early) morning on the top of a double decker bed over the expressway on my way to vivocity. I thought I was gonna die, because I was sitting right over the edge. But it's quite a sight to behold, actually. Went to Marina Boulevard after that, and saw many many buildings. They make you feel quite tiny when you look up. Must go there and shoot some day. Anyway, I came home to find my neighbour and his wife sitting by the pool, which I thought was awfully sweet ~. :)

This week's episode of Glee was surprisingly really enjoyable. By the way, that, is how you use a guest star.

Mm. So graduation's today (/tomorrow), and it's been so hectic since O's ended, I'd really want some down time. Can't wait for Japan, but I guess I'm gonna have to create my own (disconnected) vacation here. :S

Toodles!

016

2 girls in a corner

Today I spent lunch with a very special girl. It was a super duper enjoyable 2 hours, just that I still have to take "this silly girl" out for ice cream. Because she keeps bugging me. :) But I love her very much. In other news, graduation rehearsal was eh, but Gen said toybox needed another outing (it hasn't even been half a week!) so whoever's reading this - that's your cue.

++ If you're reading this - graduation presents will come after graduation. Because I have no time, which is really ironic. But yeah!

I have to say, this new freedom, despite how boring it gets sometimes, is really refreshing. The only problem being I'm running dry of $$ faster than you can say "bankrupt!". Time to spend some good time at home, then.

Hope everyone's been having a good time. :)

015

Life has been so good to me, everything has just been going so well. I'm so glad, and so thankful. :) Although life's logic states something will probably crumble down soon, I'm just going to stick to this positivity and the fact that life has been amazing since O's has ended. (Well, it has been getting better every year so ...)

Jonsi's so good (thanks Andrea!), he's really amazing to listen to if you're on an adventure or travelling or going somewhere new. It's refreshing.

:) :) :)

Still sleepy though. Haha, and should really start on my books.

014.2

So I suppose I do have to mention that O's are over. :) I'm really really relieved, amongst others. It's been an extremely tough fight the past 10 months and some months were worst than others, but I've made it, we've made it, and I'm really proud of all of us. :)

Now that O's are over, I have about 2 months to crash, live life and do whatever I want (semi) unrestrained !! It's not as exciting as it sounds HAHA.

Paolo Nutini - These Streets. (y)

So hopefully I'll be able to catch up with some good books. Going to Kino yesterday made me (and Tricia) realise that we've got a lot of reading to do! Oh yeah, and I hope I'll get to shoot soon too. :)

Dear you,

We've come a long way, and I think we've started to take many things for granted. Although I can't say you have for sure, I'm pretty sure you have. It's sad to think that we've been so blessed to have built such a long lasting friendship just because of circumstances, yet now we're wasting it. I can barely hold a conversation with you, but I don't blame you. It's funny how if it were last year, we'd be so confident in the closeness we have with each other, but it was my fault for not being able to see through what you were really trying to say. Yet you're still the sweetest, you know. (And although I'm a 100% confident that you won't be reading this, I miss you.)

014.1

yaaaaaaah.

013

"I know I'm not strong enough to be, everything that I'm supposed to be. I give up, I'm not strong enough. Hands of mercy won't you comfort me, Lord right now I'm asking you to be, strong enough, for the both of us."

I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength, but not alone.

6 days.

Please God, let me pull through.

012

I am gonna bury myself in a little hole and hide in a cave for the next three weeks, and when I come back, this will be my new blogging home!

Here's wishing me (and you) all the best!

011

I've been meaning to blog ...

X Factor will always be my favourite. :)

010

"Mr. President? My name is Khan, and I'm not a terrorist".

Today, while buying food for lunch, I witnessed this mother (I think) shout at her child, not more than one year old, to drink.

"Drink!"

"DRINK LA!"

I was just caught in shock, like literally. It soon turned into anger, but I had no right. I was just like, really? Really?! I swear I'd never do that. You could really see the resentment in her eyes, and I think she almost caught mine. So I ran away before she had the chance to throw the glass at me.

I really shouldn't be here, and I promised Tricia not to, but. (So Tricia, if you're reading this - sorry!)

By the way, I think My Name is Khan is amazing, you all should watch it, but bring tons of tissue. And watch "Four Lions" if you dare - four people will blow themselves up, but none in the name of suicide bombing. It's really rather sad. Black humour.

"It's okay to fail".

Cheers!

009

Today has been one of those days I found myself feeling like there's no purpose in living, completely none. It was honestly a struggle to make it through today, to accept the fact that I'm living on Planet Earth - and to remember that Planet Earth is, indeed amazing.

"There is always hope".

Cheers to a good 10 years.

"Till the Sun and planets disappear,

I could stay in your arms all year.

Even if that means infinity through,

if being productive is being with you,

Then baby I don't want to waste another day"

- Waste Another Day, Brooke Fraser

008

Sometimes I wonder if I'll ever be as happy, content and immensely filled with joy as I once used to be, whether I'll ever be free from the clutches the insatiable nature of humans. I wonder where my optimism went, why I can longer be grateful for all that I have, why I always want more, even though I already have so much, and I wonder if I'll ever cut it as a photographer/musician, even if I don't make it big.

On other days, I wish to see the world in all it's majesty. It's an amazing planet we have here. From people to nature, "survival of the fittest" to care and compassion; social responsibility, to the most ugly side of humans. A world of extremes; they combine to make the most dynamic, most explosive, and most beautiful place to be on.

But on days like this, I sit back with an amazing soundtrack, wondering how 7 billion people can coexist in (general) harmony, how this world can be so beautiful yet ugly at the same time, and whether life is worth living. Then I remember, I've never really lost this optimism, it's innate, it's in here, somewhere, even if I can't find it right now.

41 days to freedom.

It's gonna be so worth it.

(stay inspired ~)

007

As I'm waiting for Glee to load:

i. It's scary how it's already October 1st, and we're left with so little time that keeps ticking away, and that we probably haven't studied enough, and we're going to fight with time to complete everything we should, but the irony is that we had all the time in the world, and we will have all the time in the world.

ii. At 16, everything's a mess, it's fuzzy, and I suppose it always will be - the entire world is too complicated for comprehension, and as much as I try not to demystify it, I can't. It gets extremely irritating when everything you believe in, you value, you try so hard to fight for, gets challenged. Soon, you're left with no choice but to accept these lies as the only truth. But as members of society, what else can we do?

006

There must be more than this.

"You shall know the truth, and the truth shall set you free".

(Amen).

005

I've been talking less, for one simple reason - the less you talk, the less the probability of any relationship going wrong. It's the same principle as "no pain, no gain" really. But yes, when tension and stress levels are at an all time high, it's best to keep quiet(er) for the sake of yourself and the others around you. ~

Though you can't completely stop me from keeping quiet. HAHA. Anyway, I really miss shooting, especially on days when the sunlight is amazing, and now that my dad is less possessive of his DSLR, I shall jump on it on the 13th of November.

I'm kinda getting accustomed to the routine of papers after papers, and content being drilled involuntarily. But whatever, it's only a while more.

Yeah, so my last day of school is in about two weeks, or a little more, and that's it. It's good and bad really, but when you think of how the school is going to become in the future, the scale sways to the good side. :)

Peace!

004

It feels a lot better to be away from the internet, actually. Apart from the fact that it's tiring being online, life is a lot simpler and less distracting when I'm off the computer - and makes living a lot less virtual, which (to me), equates to a lot more authenticity.

I'm here, stealing a couple of minutes while I help my mother set up the computer. Hehehe.

I have a lot of hope for the future - massive, big plans, promising prospects, and a better tomorrow in general. For the short-term, and the long-term. I suppose this element of surprise, anticipation, fear, really gets people going.

A teacher said today, "do not drift through life, life is meant to be lived".

But how many people genuinely do more than exist?

003

Breathing space.

School is getting claustrophobic. I don't know - Paranoia has probably driven them to the edge. It's a little bit insane, what they're doing. Barely anytime for anything else except cracking heads only to get wrong answers, redoing questions only to get wrong answers, and memorising facts only to see them fall out. Whatever, the life of a 16 year old anyway. (Imagine how bad the future's gonna get).

Sungha Jung has been so inspiring - such a young boy with so much talent and determination, just like Nirimmi Harkanson.

lose your inhibitions.

You know, thinking about the entire world in chaos - we should really learn to be thankful, we should be gratified we aren't one of them, and I am. Yeah, we complain too much for our own good, but so what? You'd think contentment is key, but humans are insatiable creatures - there's always something more, something better.

Why stop at what you've got when you can get something better?

002

Technically, it's 001.5.

Right, so I started a new blog, to be officially used after O's, I presume. The idea of telling people "bounceandjump" just got a little bit tiring, and irrelevant, though I really like the skin.

9 weeks to O's, 7 subjects to ace. As much as the probability of getting an A for Chinese is there, I don't think I regret the decision to drop. After O's: out with friends, playing like I've never played before, UK school examination (!), church camps and cg retreats. Sounds good. But I have to get through these horrendous 9 weeks first, and my computer goes into hibernation after 31st August. I'll try.

"Do you know what it feels like loving someone who's in a rush to throw you away?"

(This post was meant for the sole purpose of testing how a blog post would look like, haha.)

001

testing, testing.