275

Busy, but far too blessed to be stressed! (In Jesus name).

It's been an exciting (and dramatic week). 5 more weeks to the exams so everyone's starting to crank up their engines, I'm no exception. Spending weekends mugging as well as focusing on applications - those have gotta be good, it seems like there's a gazillion things to do but I know that I'm well found in my Saviour's arms (and His unmerited favour).

also, here's a thought: you don't define your relationship w Jesus based on the name of your "religion". (i.e lutheran/catholic/charismatic etc) You (may) define the name of your "religion" based on your relationship w Jesus. (But I'd just plainly suggest to focus on your relationship w Jesus).

Cheers.

274

I see Grace, sealed by your sacrifice;

I see love, reaching for me. 

The race is not to the swift,
Nor the battle to the strong,
Nor bread to the wise,
Nor riches to men of understanding,
Nor favor to men of skill;
But time and chance happen to them all.

- Ecclesiastes 9:11

Just so, so blessed. Always. 

273

this, in two parts:

a) inspire-

Today, for a school based interview workshop, we were asked to bring something that inspires us. This is a tall order. Not because there isn't anything to bring, but because every damn thing in the world inspires me. 

When you really get down to thinking about it, it becomes quite amazing really. This world is such a wonderous place and the people are beautiful and just realising that, just, being awestruck or held in wonder leaves you just inspired. And I think I marvel at the serendipity of events (of course knowing it isn't actually serendipity), and how perfectly everything fits together and just works. It's quite amazing. 

b) blessed beyond measure

This week has been an infinitely great week - from a surprise bump up of a grade, to doing well in mock tests (quite important, really), to just seeing applications come together, to an exciting piece of news and father-daughter bonding, it's just been a brilliant week and my God is so good and so faithful and wow.wow.wow.

But as I was walking home the other day, I realised that none of this would matter if I ain't make it to heaven. But o'cuz, I know I've got so much because I've got a good God in heaven lookin' out for me. I guess the take home message was never forget - kingdom minded is our aim. 

It's been a good week, and I hope everyone has been having lovely ones too. Life gets tough, but it's so, so beautiful.

Cheers. 

272

At this very moment, my mind has been overcrowded. Thoughts are invading my mind too fast; too fast for me to slow down and process anything, distinguish right from wrong. 

I could really use a break right now. A break from all the people I know. Not because I don't like them - I love the people around me. Just because, sometimes you need one. Sometimes you need to remember who you are, and who holds you. Who you are, and what you're living for. Who you are, and where you'll soon be. 

Too many voices, two too many. 

Always remembering I'm human, that's okay - nothing more is expected of me. 

271

I'm just posting this here so I don't forget it:

"It doesn’t interest me what you do for a living. I want to know what you ache for, and if you dare to dream of meeting your heart’s longing. // It doesn’t interest me how old you are. I want to know if you will risk looking like a fool for love, for your dream, for the adventure of being alive."  

- Oriah Mountain Dreamer

270

I saw a woman in distress today.

Her hands were cupped over her face, but I couldn't tell whether it was in frustration or to wipe away tears. That's what caught my eye. I was sitting in the bus, and her in her car. She was in the driver's seat, the rest of the car was empty. 

I wondered for a few split seconds if she was just wiping her face. But there was a difference sense. She was on the phone - you could tell from the earpiece in her ear, and for the 30 seconds the red light stopped both our vehicles momentarily.

Hand gestures followed after - frantic waving, circling, even writing on the steering wheel, whatever that meant. There was probably shouting. I won't know for certain, because it was evidently out of earshot, but there was shouting. Or at least some frustrated banter. 

(I think in that time, my mind did a combination of wander and logical linking.) 

The lights changed and the car pulled away much faster than the bus moved along. She drove with her hands barely on the steering wheel, the other hand still in agitated movement, still shouting. 

It was barely 730 in the morning - and I saw a woman in distress.

I wonder how she is now. 

269

It's a pity I never got down to more than lying in bed, playing tetris battle, house m.d, and rewatching a couple of the shows I like to rewatch. I also used copious amounts of tissue and killed a few rainforests in the meantime, and I'm taking medication which knocks me out faster you can say "sweet dreams!". 

There's something so daunting about the whole 2 months that lie ahead of me - but then again, there's nothing really daunting at all. It's uncertain, yes - but when your security lies in the cornerstone, I don't know.

I guess the greatest "pity" of all is that I didn't manage to read - well, a couple of pages, but that doesn't really count for much. I was going to get up and make m' way to starbucks or the coffee bean, but my body didn't feel up for that.

Ah well.

268

Spending my week off school in bed nursing this drag of a cold. Oh well. We get what we can, I guess! (and no one can fault me for not working. ;))

267

I miss writing. I really do. 

I have so much to say these days, but nothing comes out fluently, coherently. Hemingway said there was nothing difficult to writing at all. You just had to sit down at the typewriter and bleed. He also said all you had to do was write the truest sentence you know. 

Write the truest sentence you know. 

"God is good." 

Perhaps it all starts from there. Sure, I could write about God's goodness. I always can. (there are no "but"s to this sentence). Write the truest sentence you know. I've been reading Hemingway: The Old Man and the Sea. I haven't gotten very far, but I am reading it. Along with Machiavelli's The Prince and an attempt at The History of Love. 

I don't know. I guess one day I'll sit down and write about contentment and gratitude. I feel I don't stop enough. I like having things to do. I forget to sit down and embed in myself the amazing things that have happened today, yesterday, the day before. I pay too much attention to the task set before me, without realising I've perhaps missed something a bit more significant. 

But I'll take what I can get - I realise I probably value autonomy significantly more than the next door neighbour, and I do tend to like my space. 

still, the most blessed kid on the entire frickin' planet.