056

Why do we all strive for perfection?

I see nothing wrong with striving to be your best, that I get. What I don't understand is the strive for perfection. I think not being "okay" (i.e: settled, functional) is entirely human, even fundamental. What's the point of being perfect. What would we do if everyone was perfect? It's so important to embrace our imperfections, because only then can we see how much more there is to everything else, and how humans really need each other. Only then we learn and we grow. We'll never be perfect, but that's what makes us so amazing.

"I see the great heights, reminding me I'm alive//I don't want to die//I don't want to waste another day, or night//I know there's something more, than what we're living for//I see it in the stars//I feel it on the shore"

The other thing I don't get is this - we meet someone for the first time, we grab their msn, phone numbers, facebook profiles. We see them "online", "busy" or "away", but we barely talk to them at all. We barely talk to more than 10 people regularly on msn. Facebook is scarier. We literally know everything (fine more than enough) about each other's lives, but we don't even talk to them, and we barely have a relationship with them at all. I mean social networking is great, but nothing's private anymore, and that's really scary.

Okay sorry this post was over 3 days and is extremely disjointed. I promise better the next time.

Hope everyone's doing well! Cheers! :)

055

I find it extremely comforting that so many singers (with influence) are coming out and singing inspirational songs about how it's fine to be just the way you are.

--

Anyhow, I'm down with a cold. So I'm going to drink lots of water, take vitamin C and a panadol flu remedy drink (which actually works wonders), pray a lot and sleep lots. Hopefully I'll be better tomorrow morning. If I can, I'll try to read a little. Won't have any time for that after Wednesday.

I have a lapse in my brain. I either confuse what I'm thinking with what I'm typing/saying, type wrongly, or skip words. I have no idea what is going on, but I don't think this is going to aid me very well once school starts but pfft.

And omg. OMG. Castle. :).

26th Jan

So I'm quite happy with my school posting, and I'm quite scared/excited about tomorrow! The schedule looks pretty lax, but I hope I love my OG and will be fine (not sick). This is gonna be quite exciting. :)

Okay God bless all of us tomorrow! :)

054

Been on a music + show hunt the past couple of days! The former has been quite successful but the latter ... uhm, well.

Haha. I did manage to find a few good shows like Chuck! (which I stopped watching after Season 1, but now that Chuck and Sarah are together like whoo ~ and it's an in-show relationship that actually works). Been having a lot of trouble finding good asian dramas (hk/tw/k-).

So anyway, albums/songs:

1. Priscilla Ahn - A Good Day (album)

2. The Script - Science & Faith (album, title track is the best though)

3. A Fine Frenzy - Blow Away

4. Andrew Belle - Oh My Stars

5. Swtichfoot - You

I've also got my reading list up. The only problem is that school's starting soon, so I'm not sure when I'm going to get my chance to read! :( Oh well. I'll find/make time. This is gonna be a good year. :)

053

I spent more than half my day in Suntec today. Went from 10 - 3, and then again from 7 - 9 for dinner. That's insane.

To-do:

1. Go shopping for cheap dresses

2. Bring around a notebook always to collect inspiration :-)

3. Clean out and pack my bag! (So I remember to bring everything)

4. Take photographs

5. Be thankful for everything :)

It's been good. Everything's been good, and I'm so grateful to God and all He's done for me, because I know this feeling inside me, that everything's absolutely perfect, can only be from Him. :) (and I am truly seeing that His plans are perfect, and He cannot fail).

I would still like a solitary vacation to some place unknown. I'd like to discover things I've never discovered before, find out new things about this planet, figure out new things about people, see how we are different but yet all the same, and redefine my perspective.

After that, I'd really like an adventure with my friends, cuz that will be awesome. Just plain awesome.

(I was supposed to upload a song, but I forgot what it was. HAHAHAHA.)

Last 3 days of freedom!

052

So MSN finally forced me to change to MSN 2011. They wouldn't let me sign in unless I did. How cunning.

Anyway, I've had a pretty good week, but things could get better (and I'm sure they will). Met toybox twice, once together with "cupcakes" (I really don't know why they're called cupcakes but hahaha). As JC starts, I hope all of us still say tight. I know it'll take constant effort and communication to stay in touch, but I believe we can do that. (RIGHT?). Thank God for unlimited SMSes and not like, 350 free caps. HAHAHAHA.

But yeah, I'd still like a break from everything, even though school hasn't even started. There's something really scary about starting off in a new place, but I hope I'll get used to it and fit in really soon.

Otherwise, there's nothing really much to say. (!!!)

051

I love it when days get as good as these. :)

(I'm not doing anything in particular, just staying at home, trying to make my day as productive as possible, but there's this feeling of joy and happiness and peace in my heart, and I really hope it's here to stay.)

I definitely know the source of my happiness. :)

And the Birds Sing - Tyrone Wells

"The sunshine came out today, and it's shining all over the world, shining all over the world".

050

Tyrone Wells is golden. Everyone should go check out his "And the Birds Sing". Again, I'll post it up soon. :)

So I've found work (or rather, work found me) on Wednesday. It's at a family business, and I think I'm just going there to experience how it is like to work (the environment/culture/being a small fry everyone can push around). I don't think I'll get paid more than an allowance but it's alright. :) It's noncommittal and everything so I'm grateful for that. I think I will try to find proper work the next break or whenever.

I guess I've been feeling better/recovering from the entire episode of the previous week. It's been so hectic and there's been so much going on with friends and family and myself. It was just a whiz of emotions and it was pretty hard to slow down and think about it. So I had to take a break. I would really appreciate a trip abroad by myself though, or at least two days to myself, in complete solitude. But it's not going to happen anytime soon.

Whatever it is, we'll get over it. It's that or nothing.

Cheers!

049

No more condemnation/no more judgement. I am free. I am a child of the Lord Most High. Thank you Jesus, for paying the price. And I am saved.

1. Been thinking through some thing, trying to find answers to others

2. Really enjoyed Church on Sunday (albeit at a different one)

3. I'm really confused now, really really confused.

4. I am writing in point form, so I still haven't got back to being able to write coherent paragraphs.

That's the best I can do now. I'm still on my (now semi) spontaneous hiatus though!

048

Hi y'all!

I'm sorry for neglecting this page, but I think I'm going to have to neglect it a while longer. My life is really chaotic now and too much is going on for me to pen down anything barely coherent. I would also like to get a few moments over and done with so don't mind me while I go on a spontaneous hiatus. I hope everyone's been doing fine, and I'll be back soon! (Like, really soon!). Meanwhile, fill your lives up with fried chicken, indie music and private practice!

Cheers!

(I think I'm going to have to memorise more English words.)

047

I've never been so afraid, or so at a loss of what to do.

046

I can't say I'm not gutted, because I kinda am. But whatever it is, I'm slowly accepting that what I've got is a fact of life, and it's not going to change just because I keep staring at it, or bawling my eyes out. So screw this. Once I'm done moping, I'm going to celebrate. I'm going to celebrate the fact I finished the O levels and I could of done a lot worse. I could of done a lot worse, but I didn't. I didn't. So I have no idea where I'm headed, but I know I'm not alone. I know God is bringing me somewhere for a reason, and this changes nothing. I do know I still have a good chance with either AC/VJ, and that this is not the end. So to where ever I go, I'm just gonna go with (as open) a heart and perspective (as possible). I'm going to enjoy and take in everything that's coming my way, knowing that God delivers.

Well, at least this makes my mind up about something: -

UK, it's this or nothing.

Good Life - One Republic.

This has gotta be a good life. :)

(God, I'm trusting you. I'm trusting you to do what's best, because you know what's best. If I did this by myself, I'd probably really unhappy or messed up or have no idea what I'm doing. But because you're guiding me, I know your plan is perfect, and I have nothing to fear. So in advance, and for my grades, Thank You.)

045

(you can ignore this post)

Right now, I won't deny I'm (hell) nervous. I am so apprehensive about tomorrow, and I've got no idea what to expect, or whether to expect at all. I don't like making a big deal out of things, and definitely not results, but this time, I really can't control it. Tomorrow's gonna come.

But whatever it is, I know God has got His hand on me. I know He won't let me fall beyond what I can handle, and I know He is in complete control. Today, I shall learn to trust. I'll trust in His plans, and I'll learn to accept whatever comes my way. Tomorrow, I pray I'll be able to accept whatever the result is (although I'm praying (as well) for something good). Hehehe.

God, I'm so frickin nervous right now nothing (even barely) concrete can come out from me.

"I know what I'm doing. I have it all planned out - plans to take care of you, not abandon you, plans to give you the future you hope for."

Jeremiah 29:11 (The Message)

And this:

What Faith Can Do - Kutless

"I've seen dreams that move the mountains, hope that doesn't ever end, even when the sky is falling. I've seen miracles just happen, silent prayers get answered, broken hearts become brand new. That's what faith can do."

So really, all the best tomorrow, to everyone who's receiving their results. All the best. :)

044

Just a word of warning - if I start speaking like this tomorrow, you know what happened to me.

Other than that, good luck everybody, and all the best.

Cheers!

043

I am freaking out. I need to stop freaking out.

(IN OTHER FREAKING OUT NEWS: atiha;th;stsalst;a/st;st OMG PRIVATE PRACTICE 4x11 WAS LIKE THE SWEETEST THING EVERRR AAAAAH OMG.)

But anyway, in proper freaking out news. Results are drawing nearer, and as much as I'd like to remain in my zen, I know I'm too emotional for that. Whatever it is, whatever my expectation, and whatever my desire to reach my expectation, I know God will provide. I know what I get will be sufficient, and for now, I'd just like to take my mind off it. :)

I've been having a fine time just cruising around life hanging out with friends and just journalling and doing things that don't require much brain power. I mean I've kinda started prepping for my entrance exam, but that's a whole different issue la. I really can't stand freaking out about my results though.

And so - if anyone needs another feel good song, go listen to One Republic - Good Life. I'm literally watching an episode of Cougar Town to see how they use that song. It's a great song (y) (and fine, so I watch Cougar Town. Don't judge me!) I'll post it up one of these days. Hopefully on Monday. :)

Really though, how's everyone holding up!

042

Hey Soul Sister - Train

A super duper duper happy song to put everybody in the super duper happy mood. Loving life!

(I have to say, this probably beats I'm Yours as my absolute favourite song.)

My dear mother woke me up at 7:16am today. I am like zzz zzz zz right now. I had a crazy good day though. It was really fun seeing all my secondary one friends again. And it's really nice to know that not much has changed! We're still making fun of each other and laughing in each other's faces all the time. Just thinking about what we did in S1 feels eons ago, but these girls are :) :) :)

So anyway, yesterday I met toybox again. I really love these girls hahaha. We played bridge in the kopitiam, and then poker (by the way I have game of life $$$), and they're always so entertaining. It's really nice to know that they'll be there like, no matter what you're feeling, and they try rather hard to feel the same (or we just have the same emotional rhythm).

Been on a PP marathon the entire time, and finally got myself the journal I was looking for. (Although it's a pity I couldn't find the brown one, but the blue one fits just fine anyway) I think I've been off to a good start this year, and I really couldn't wish for a better one. No school, quality time with friends, churchies and all the rest. It's been a good week, couldn't ask for more.

I really hope everyone's been having a good time, even if your life hasn't been eventful, because really, feeling this happy, is one of the best feelings in the world, and everyone deserves to feel this way.

Cheers!

(PS: Cheryl, even though you said not to say anything about your present, I really loved it. It was incredibly sweet. Thanks a lot. :))

041

2011 (ii)

I will live.

(I will celebrate the fact that I'm alive).

040

2011.

I'm excited for this year, but I'm really scared too. I mean, new school, results, new responsibilities. But anyhoo, God's told me this is going to be amazing year, so I'm really excited for everything that's about to happen. I'm gonna breathe in, and then I'm gonna see the world and the new year and be really really excited about it.

2010's treated me very well, and I'm glad. It has been tough, and emotionally draining, but I made it through, met some awesome people, established new friendships and just basically seen God's faithfulness, even when I stray.

So anyway, in 2011 I'm gonna keep it real, be happy/get lost, and learn to depend on God 100%. I'm really excited and can't wait to see what's in store. This year is hopefully gonna be a year where I learn more about myself, grow closer to the people I love and care for, and just get a new perspective on things, on life, be closer find my passion(s), and just investing time in what I love.

Good stuff.

Cheers! (Hope 2011's been good for you so far!)