089

The GE's in full steam now, and if you know me personally you'd know how insanely dedicated I am to following it (and my opposition support). I'll make a fuss and a million posts on it later, I will, but for now, there are greater issues than the next ruling party, or the number of seats the PAP loses, and my future career.

--

Today, as I was going home from violin class, I dropped a coin in the train. Now my bag was propped onto my violin, and so it was quite difficult for me to move. Just as well, there was this girl, probably 14 or 15 coming home from school. She pointed out that I dropped my coin, and seeing it was difficult for me to retrieve it, she told me she'd pick it up for me. It wasn't a "I'll pick it up for you", it was a very sweet, "you just stay there let me do it!!". And from what I heard of her conversation with her other friend, it was evident she's a really sweet girl who earnestly wants to help her friend out.

The problem is this: Her wrist was slit. Multiple times.

Now that's scary. It saddened me the entire journey home. I had no idea what was going on in her life, and to be honest, I have been exposed to stories of this in a while. It brought me back to reality.

Now society, what's wrong with you?

You take these innocent minds and twist them. You make them feel worthless and valueless. They harm themselves to feel good. How perverse is that. You rob them of their self confidence, and soon their identity. You fault them for every wrong thing in their life, even if they had nothing to do with it. They'll never be good enough for you. You take these hearts of love and turn them cold as ice. You convince them they're of zero potential, you make them feel pathetic. They live to please everybody, but they never do. They live for everyone but themselves. What did these young souls do to deserve that?

Nothing.

God bless her, and everyone out there hurting. There is a hope that never fails, things do get better. Please believe that.

088

Once more, I find myself desperately wanting to jump onto the next plane to no where, because everywhere is more inspiring than this concrete jungle, and being buried six feet under (books).

I haven't had a good talk with someone about books, nature, music, and the sea in a long time. In fact, I haven't read a book, messed with music and been to the sea in a long time. It gets almost depressing. Although I do have to say, meeting my friend yesterday brought me back to the familiarity of being comfortable and in good company.

--

I can't wait till I can drive. On days that feel like crap and routine and repetitive, I'd take the car out and drive to a secluded area, where I can sit around for a while, play a bit of music, take a few photographs and just forget the world. The other problem is, is there such a place in Singapore?

Anyway. I think I played a little too hard this weekend so I'm rushing a little too much work right now. I also feel extremely insecure for the complex numbers test I'm having, tomorrow. I think.

However, I know because I have God, there's no fear. Right now I can only pray He blesses me with the ability to complete everything by tonight. :)

087

The GE2011 has been the most exciting thing that's happened to me this entire week, which full of emotional drainage and being literally sick.

So I've been reading the WP + PAP manifestos, and I hope to get down to some rallies when they come up! :) It's actually not that bad, even if we know who's going to win it. Actually, that really isn't important. I doubt we're ready for a new government too. What's going to be interesting is actually the number of seats the opposition wins. I'm hoping for a few more than a few more. :)

So yes, the rest of the week has been extremely emotionally draining, there's been a lot of change going around in school. Maybe that's why people are so adverse to change. Haha. But yes, I'm more than thankful for the long weekend, and there have been people in school who've been absolutely fantastic, so God's been good. :)

I think the cutthroat smart insults between parties is the most interesting of 'em all. (:

086

I try to find inspiration in everything around me. Whether it's the girl sitting on the edge of a bend, or the children playing in the playground, I try to absorb everything around me; breathe in the atmosphere. Keeps me in touch with the earth without being, in touch with the earth.

--

So it's going to be the start of a busy term tomorrow, because all the G11s are back. I'm trying to keep on top of things, but I'm not sure how that's going to work out. Exciting times anyway, exciting times. (:

Do everything out of love, not for love. :)

085

On My Way - Boyce Avenue

"Lay down, and come alive in all you've found/all you're meant to be/and for now, we'll wait for the morning light/and close your eyes to see/just close your eyes to see"

The light at the end is worth the pain.

There has just been so much to go through. Each day, I'm getting a little more emotionally crippled, trying to find meaning and reason in everything that goes around. Sometimes I just can't understand, other times I force emotions out of me. But that's not how it's supposed to work. I'm just supposed to feel. There's too much disappointment sometimes, there really is. I get lost in a whimsy, and just zone out, feeling in a completely different place.

I know God is more than enough for me, and I know that everything's perfect in His time. I'm just finding it a little difficult right now. I need to trust, believe, and just rest in Him. Let Him work it out. It's in Him. Not my works, but by Him. I've got to start realising I cannot do anything, but He can do everything. :)

every once in a while

just close your eyes to see.

084

This is me sleeping before 1030 in a bid to fully recover from my cold by tomorrow. Say its impossible but God's my healer. :)

Cheers!

(Btw, our geog class convinced our geog teacher to bring us on an excursion this Friday. I love my school. :))

083

Today was good. It feels good to be back. :)

Although, we were greeted with this:

"Real IB starts now."

and well, something about catching a bus.

Cheers!

082

Sometimes I think the one thing ruining the world is the apathy of people. The sheer lack of concern to make the world a better place. They like status quo because it's comfortable. Yet, sometimes I think of how complex and tiring the world can get and apathy seems like the perfect way out. This is me being lazy.

--

Church today was good. Jesus is always the answer, and I tend to forget that a lot. Everytime I feel uninspired, I tend to look at a lot of things to try and bring back that inspiration when the answer is so clear. It's in Him. Anyway, church today did leave me rather motivated to go and pursue music and put a little bit more effort in everything I do, amongst other things. There's just something about corporate worship which makes it a little different.

What I did want to say though, was today I learnt that God never, ever, shortchanges you, or leaves you feeling incomplete. And that's very comforting.

It's the last day of the holiday and I'm back for a full ten weeks from tomorrow. God bless my soul. :( Anyhow, I'm looking forward to whatever's in store for me, cuz I know God has something good! Again, still needing to zone in though.

You - Hillsong

"So I lay me down/for kingdom come/steel all that is within me/cause all I want in this life is more of You/In the less of me it is you/increasing as I fade away/your light for all the world to see/God it is you who breaks the chains/it is you who lights the way/and everything I am cries out to you/"

Have a blessed week everyone :)

081

I need to learn to turn off the internet. Better yet? Turn off the computer.

080

I'd have to say all in all this has been a good week. I rarely have weeks as enjoyable as these, and I'm extremely thankful.

So I spent this week with good company most of the time, whether face to face or virtual, had many lovely conversations with my sc friends over the internet, though I wish we could have met face to face, and an interesting dinner with those from SJII (albeit there being very, VERY, few of us there).

All in all it's been the most balanced holiday I've had in a while. A little bit of travel, a little bit of friends and a whole lot of rushing to complete work. But I'm managing it, and that's the way it'll always be. ;) It's all part of being young. At least I've still got a little bit of my head with me.

This:

I loved how it was filmed, I love the video, and I love his emotions. Of course, I love the song :)

On a more emo side:

You're going to catch a cold from the ice inside your soul.

One of the most emo videos I've watched in a while.

Have a good weekend, guys!

Cheers!

079

(This isn't from Flags, but it's still good)

Brooke Fraser - C.S Lewis Song

"If I find in myself desires nothing in this world can satisfy, I can only conclude that I was not made for here"

I realise most of my work isn't due until everyone comes back from Tioman. I have lost all motivation to finish it. I realise I'm pretty good at starting on work. Finishing it is a completely different story. Whatever it is, I know this term is gonna be pretty scary. It's going to be a lot busier and if I don't clear my work quickly I can erase the word "sleep" from my dictionary. The Baan Dada kids are back, and have seemed to have had a blast. Good for them. I think they truly learnt a lot from that trip, and that's the essence of service, isn't it? Looking forward to seeing everyone in school soon!

So dinner today with a few of them was really good, I love cosy atmospheres where time goes by and we just chill and know that everything is alright. The holidays have been good, and I guess sad school's going to start soon but I am looking forward to everything the term brings. I know God's got a great one for me planned. :)

Cheers!

078

Ola!

So I'm back from Germany. While I do want to blog about it, I'm right now trying to consolidate everything before I do. So the past 5 days have been amazing and a great great rest. It was so refreshing to be in a new place, and while it has fueled my desperation to get out of here, I'm glad to be home to where friends and family still are.

So I'm a week down and have a week to go. I'll probably introduce more of Brooke Fraser from her Flags album today.

I think it's about time to start doing my work. I need to zone in, pronto.

Cheers!