176

I promised myself to sleep at 2330. It's now 0059 on the morning of the 27th. But with 5 days of school to get through, there's no better time than to write a list of what I wish (read: probably will not get the chance) to do during the Christmas break. 

1. Shoot - My 600D has been collecting dust since IB killin' me. What better time than to experiment (and put it to good use) than in this 5 week break where my creativity has been stifled beyond bounds. 
2. Learn to cook - I have come to realise that my lack of ability to cook has caused more loss than gain. Being able to cook equates to having fun experimenting with new recipes, healthier living, cheaper living, and hosting great dinner parties. More than anything, I think it evokes liberty. (yes, call me weird). 
3. Send out Christmas cards - I have this resolution every year, but I never get down to it. This year will be even tougher for I have international friends. Anyhow, we always start with a dream. 
4. Read - My fancy stack of books are sitting upon the shelf waiting for me to devour page by page. Reading feeds the soul and cultures the being, and the lack of it renders me incomplete. 

Yes, I'm well aware I have my EE, World Lit, and other commitments upon me (I can almost feel the teachers nagging now), but if I can't do what I love in the holidays, then when? 

I feel the lethargy of the diploma is taking it's toll on me. I could sleep forever yet still feel tired. Oh well.

Cheers! 

175

This week has been long - but it's a single digit countdown to when school closes. 

Today, I felt so exhausted after school, I diverted from going home to going to my nearest Starbucks. I bought a toffee nut frapp, and sunk into those little single couches they have, and read Madame Bovary (which I happen to quite enjoy) for an hour, just to get a little bit of escape. 

It's nice to see things come to a close, but it's also scary how fast things move - IB2, Uni applications, Uni, getting a job, starting a family, so on so forth. It is wise to take things a day at a time, yet the prospect of the future is something we must consider. 

I've been blogging so seldom because there's either:

a) nothing on my mind, or mostly

b) too much on my mind. 

Can't wait for the Christmas break - 4, was it 5 weeks - yes, work. But more than that, travel, reading, good music, good coffee and good company. 

Solid gold. 

Cheers guys, have a great week +. 

174

I think it's time for me to reconsider my stance on economic issues.
Is there a better alternative to capitalism? Am I really going to advocate income inequality (in the name of economic progress)?

173

If there's one thing I've learnt from the multitude of work the teachers have thrown upon us these past two brilliant weeks, it's that I'm in an outrageously desperate need of a holiday. 

But more than that - it's break things down. 

When you're piled up with an insurmountable load of tasks to do, you've gotta break 'em down, and keep breaking 'em down. I know thousands of people have told me this before, but things really become so much more feasible when you start realising you can actually do something.

So now it's 2230, and I've got a hell load of work to do, but at least, I'm on my way to completing something. As they always say, it's taking that first step that counts. 

Wish me luck - I hope I don't fall asleep.

Cheers,

xx. 

172

Today, a certain someone told me a certain story that broke half my heart.

I had a very good talk with a very good friend of mine this afternoon, over waffles, brownies and salted caramel ice cream. We discussed our philosophy, what's been tiring us out, and the hope for the future of the world. Talks like these rejuvenate my soul. 

I honestly don't understand why society has to be so competitive. Why can't we just live a little better, achieve our own standards, and be happy with that? It's sad because a lot of us are driven into competition. We do it to survive. 

 - you are more than the choices that you make, you are more than the sum of your past mistakes, you are more than the problems you create. 

171

I'm losing my focus - this is getting scary. 

It's probably a combination of burning out and just being overwhelmed with work - but whatever it is, I: 

i) need a break, severely, and 

ii) cannot afford to let my grades drop, not now. 

Every day has now morphed into a perpetual daze of picking up the pieces, and rushing work before deadlines; completing tasks for the sake of completion, joining clubs for the sake of achievement. I feel I no longer have control of what I'm doing, what I want to do, and how I can do it. In other words, I'm losing my autonomy, and that, is frightening. After that, I'll lose my motivation, and from there, a downward spiral. This sounds like a post of myself wallowing in apathy, but I hope it isn't. I do wish to get out of this mess, I'm just unsure of how to. I'll call it overworked. 

Anyhow, life goes on - and we'll make it through. I hope the rest of y'all will have a gorgeous week. :) 

Cheers! 

170

Observations of a Tuesday evening:
1. 9 year olds talking about commodity trading.
2. Young couple in a Ferrari, making out before they bid farewell.
3. Greece's president calling for a referendum on the euro deal.

It's 730 on a Wednesday morning and I've got 50 pages of a book to finish before period 3/4. Did I mention November has the craziest social schedule? And the craziest workload? Kill me now.

Cheers guys!