230

Math, Poetry, and Political Philosophy.

Another week down. But what a busy weekend.

9/7

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The same power that conquered the grave lives in me.

Matthew 16:19, “I will give you the keys of the Kingdom of Heaven, what you bind on earth will be bound in heaven, and what you loose on earth will be loosed in heaven. 

The same power that raised Jesus from the dead lives in me. The identical power is alive in me!

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School - can't bring myself to do anything productive once I reach home, I hit the sack 3/5 times this week immediately and filled the rest of my day up with random tasks to evade anymore work for my mind.

The sky is in a fine hue of pink and blue overlap. I s'ppose I could stare at that for a while. Sometimes the world is so, so beautiful, and not just physically. I've been bitten by the wanderlust bug again. Staring at Nat Geo/Newsweek's travel issues don't do me any good for determination/sustaining myself in this near dreadful place.

Treated this weekend the same way I treated my holidays, restful nothingness. Now, I need to finish my chemistry homework and pray for the best as I embark on the next week.

9/8.

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Ah, so the new term:

• spirit of excellence
• sufficient rest
• discipline
• Jesus, Jesus, Jesus.
• priorities
• balance

For pumpkin!, aikidocat, and everyone else who is hanging on: 

I can see a light that is coming for the heart that holds on. 

226

You see, the funny thing is - we never learn.

I had an amazing time catching up with all my secondary school friends. There's something very homely about sc, something very comfortable about the faces that greet you, the smiles that light up. I honestly didn't even know who was going to be there; I suppose enough of us were. Enough of us to fill the next year or so, until we meet again. 

The holidays have been good, but then again, ill disciplined. I think discipline is underrated. It's actually rather attractive, and y'know, you just tend to make better use of your time than idling around. Lazily rushing my assignments until it kinda gets too late, oh yes, and I should find my notes before I build a presentation on complete imagination. 

225

As I thought about it, 

We always think about, albeit in retrospect - that how a relationship never worked out/never started out allowed you to grow in a way that wouldn't be possible if you were together, how you were able to develop and experience so much more by not being together. We only come to appreciate it in retrospect, and it tends to be about us. Today, however, as I was talking to you - I realised you've become a much better person than you were 2,3 years ago. 

I know you couldn't have grown in such a way if you were with me. 

So today, I understood what that meant, and I felt glad. I am happy for you, and I think I've finally come to appreciate the value behind timing. God's timing. Trust that it will all be alright in the end. 

224

1. If I don't get started on work now, I'd have wasted a good break. 
2. The tremor I felt just now - I think it's given me a headache.
3. Pray for Sumatra, really. 
4. More than enough, more than enough. 
5. Discipline is underrated. 

223

Good, good. The holidays have been good. 

The right mix of going out, reading, catching up on films. I suppose I'll get down to work tomorrow, or something like that. 

"Your love never fails, it never gives up, it never runs out on me". 

To more than one: - 

I'm sorry I couldn't be there for you in the ways you needed me there. My only prayer is that someone was, someone who made you feel you were enough. That no matter what you were going through there was a greater purpose holding on, pushing through. 

I think that's enough - for the sake of myself, it's about time I start work. Discipline, motivation, please come through. 

PS: Watched The Hunger Games today. I really liked it, it was a good adaptation and a good movie. Brilliant cinematography + use of sound. :)

I'm a sucker for good stories, and I think The Hunger Games has a killer story. The book had a killer story but the film killed it. (as in, made it even more awesome) - But, the film + safe and sound makes the story powerful.

hope. at the end of the day - hope.  

222

You know,

I sit here and,

I think about all the ways this world is terrible, terrible place to live in. I think about all the judgement that's been passed about me, I think about all the ways I struggle to get through. Then I think about the person next to me, I think about my friends, and how they're fighting with their circumstances each day. How we're just so much more than all the world ever paints us to be.

You know, just like how Katniss and everyone in the Districts fights against the Capitol.

I think about how the judgement passed on me by someone only comes from their insecurities and desire to be loved. I think about how every reaction I has leads to another action, and was caused by a separate action. That no matter how we go about it, we all belong to the same intricately weaved web. That there's really no way out from each other.

I think about all the grace and love that the world is missing, and I realise.

No one has got it easy. No one at all.

Besides the multi millions, some billions, people own. Despite the A***** celebrity status some have achieved, besides the every pinnacle of success anyone could ever think of wanting - we all started out the same.

Not from our births, our environments, our family. No. We all started out human. We started out feeling the same, having the same traps, foibles, desiring the same. And perhaps we still.

To all my friends, and everyone who is reading this post, -

You are a fighter. You are more. Never, ever stop fighting.

After all this time - Mraz's I'm Yours just never stops working for me.

(especially for C.) 

221

There's something about a book which just draws you to it. Not the physical book itself, or the perfectly typewritten ink marks on the page which form words, of course. But the story - the story, and the medium it is told in. I mean, there are many ways to tell a story - film, music, literature. Of course, the latter somehow remains my (and to a large extent, everyone else's) favourite. 

I think it's the choice it gives. A book just contains words on a page. The rest is for you to figure out. You could read them as they were - words on a page, or your mind can start to wonder. How does she look? How does he look? How about their house - what's their house like? What colour are the walls, how about the floor! Oh, how are their neighbours? 

You can choose the amount of time you wish to stay with them, to be part of their lives. To watch them, root for them, hate the evil one, love the vulnerable one. Unlike a movie which dictates the 119 minutes you spend with them, a book lets you choose the amount of time you wish to stay with the characters. How constantly you wish to be around them. 

But I think most of all - a book creates a world for you. You form all the opinions and choices around how you live and how you wish to live. Sometimes, you even wish the protagonist was you. 

There's something about the printed word. I'm still figuring it out. But until then - 

Happy reading. 

P.S: I've finished Book I of The Hunger Games.