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processing, processing. 

If there are 2 words to describe the year so far, it'd be "in transit". 

I am trying my best to find some structure and balance in my life, which isn't easy because - one, I'm not a person of structure or schedule, I like spontaneity, and two, I'm taking on very many things at once. A plethora of choices are being placed in front of me, most lead me to the unknown, which is always very intimidating. I'm fine with changes, in fact, I quite like changes - that doesn't mean I like the unknown, nor does it mean I won't take time to adapt to these changes. 

In this light: patience.

I feel that in this season of my life, my patience is being tested and being trained - for what reason, I honestly have no idea. But it's also allowed me to see God's faithfulness, by writing down my numerous (and I mean numerous) prayer requests and seeing when they've been answered - it's honestly quite amazing.

C.S Lewis said it quite well - there are things you (1) should do, (2) must do, (3) want to do. And indeed, striking a balance between all 3 has not been the easiest of tasks this year. I say I'm believing for the better, and of course I am - but faith does waver. Not necessarily faith in God, but faith in Him answering. 

But God is not a Christian, and the only thing that will get me through this is to remember how loved I am by the creator of the Universe - how delicately and intrinsically He loves me, how He is interested in my life, every little bit - and while man pulls strings, He pulls cables.