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I am in the midst of writing a really honest letter to God. I addressed it to both God and Jesus because I honestly will never know how the Trinity works and I do want them both to read it, so just to be safe.

Nobody sees me at my darkest. I don't often get drained, or tired, but I really am now. Not for a single reason. There was an analogy I really like from Michael Lewis' Boomerang. "You can't put a finger on what caused the Greek crisis, but if you put your whole hand over the reasons, a finger would touch tax evasion." In the same way, if you put a hand over what drains me, I know where the fingers would reach. 

I may actually take a long shower, and a good cry for no other reason than I am really drained, and crying is an amazing way to release emotions. 

I actually had a really good day today - I love my serving team so much. They're like family, ish, and it's only been two weeks. I honestly don't know how I'm going to leave Singapore and the amazing amazing community I've been part of the past two years. It's bullshit, this "you can't find community in a megachurch", and my senior pastor would not approve of me swearing, but I am honestly too tired for this. 

I see children from 24 months being brought up in the grace of God, in the love of Christ, and even when they need to be corrected, it is done out of love. We teach them there is a higher way, that they are set apart, and have a glorious destiny, and it is amazing. 

Kingdom minded.