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lost

(getting a gazillion emails but none of interest, please ucas, please universities!) 

I know many people, I'm friends with much fewer. Most of the people I know are lost, myself included. Some are completely lost, some are a little lost, and some are barely lost - for the moment. It's not easy being lost - losing your bearing, your compass, the certainty of the land you are standing on. Your thoughts confuse you and your mind starts to wander. It's a scary time, because the uncertainty rattles you, and for a snap period in time, you don't actually know what you're believing in, living for. 

But I think being lost is okay. It's even healthy, I'd say. Once in a while, you need things to challenge the way you're living, the memories you're keeping, and the stands you're making. More often that not, I find myself going back to the initial stands I made, memories I kept, and sometimes, the way I live. But it gets enhanced - I learn more, live more, grow more. I realise what should be kept and what shouldn't, why certain stands should be justified, and how two seemingly contradictory things can be held in tension.

Getting lost is healthy - because we all too often get stuck in a rut. We put our autopilot modes on. Because to live with it off is far too tiring, given the number of activities I pile on in a day. But take it off, live intentionally. Get confused, get lost. Start to question things - stay curious.

Trust me, I think life will turn out better that way.